4. "I simply remember my favorite things..."

"...and then I don't feel so bad!"
~The Sound of Music, My Favorite Things


Oh, if only it were that easy.  My favorite things bring me much joy...but also many tears.  Jon, I miss and love you so very, very much.  Words simply don't suffice to express how desperately I wish I could hold you just one more time.  These are a few of our memories - my favorite things - from over the years that make me laugh on the good days and cry on the bad ones:

• Our first official movie date.  The very first thing you said as we walked out the theater was that my hands were the same size as your's...yes, I know, I have "man hands."
• Holding me every night in the "nook" while we fell asleep.  You always fell asleep first - and often woke me up with your violent sleep twitches ;)  But I wouldn't trade the sweet sound of your heartbeat for anything...
• Making me delicious chocolate chip pancakes on Saturdays (complete with slightly warmed maple syrup and maximum amounts of whipped cream).
• Perusing the half-priced baked goods at the grocery store.  Those little bite-sized cherry danishes were always a big hit.
• The digital photo frame.  How you loved those Best Buy ads and all your electronic toys...
• "Bad Robot."  Best pet name ever.
• Eating out at Carrabas.  You were always so predictable with your Caesar salad and Chicken Bryan. I'm sorry I messed up the leftover goat cheese in the microwave!
• You were such a gentleman from day one.  I think you'll know what I mean by that ;)
• Singing the "Star Spangled Banner" in the car.  And sounding really, REALLY bad.
• The Christmas Mouse song.  It's a little chipped and beat up but I still have that coffee cup...
• Driving in the outer lane over bridges because you knew how much I like to see the water.  You always made me guess the name of the river and I always got it wrong.
• Piggy back and horsie rides until I was about ready to throw up.
• Touching my hair and telling me I'm beautiful.
• Talking about what heaven might be like.  I hope it's nice, baby...
• You and your french fries (and 10 dixie cups full of ketchup!).
• Surprising me at my apartment in Baltimore after you  pretended to be too tired to drive all 6 hours from Fort Bragg in one night.
• You carefully removing the 20 million hairpins from my fancy updo after our wedding.
• The rose petals in the bathtub in Jamaica.
• You getting sick on our honeymoon.  The Jamaican doctor had to give you a shot in the butt to bring down your fever.  I guess that's how they do things there :)
• Cookie monster cookies (with frosting!!!).
• "Cute, short wife."  I'm not that short!
• My back massages.  You loved them more than anything (and I do mean anything...).
• Movie quotes - you and Jason decorating the Christmas tree and reciting an entire scene from "Ghost Busters."
• Your terrible imitation of a Scottish accent ("Mum and Dud?"  "The peat?"  Really??)
• The 3 stooges noises.  So incredibly cute.
• "Shake it like a polaroid picture!" (Hey Ya, such a classic...)
• Walking up to find you already at your computer...reading CNN, of course.
• The Real Men of Genius radio commercials ("I hope it's not rear end!")
• The nostril test.  Yes, mine were bigger than your's...
• Me making you get a manicure for our wedding photos.  And you going right back to biting your nails.
• "I've been dreaming about this moment."  I know, I dreamed about it constantly too, baby.
• That terrible movie we saw in Tacoma - "Did you shoot him in the heart?"  "Um no, how the hell was I supposed to know to do that?"
• Huggles and kissles.  What I wouldn't do for more of those...
• The close-your-eyes-and-take-your-hands-off-the-wheel game.  I always broke first :)
• Cracking your knees and knuckles.  God, that drove me nuts!
• You and your "little" naps.  Ha...
• Maps.  You loved them, I hated them.  We didn't have the GPS back then so thank goodness one of us knew how to use one!
• Grandpa pants.  Hilarious.  Enough said.
• "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me."  And you to me, Jon.
• Facebook - CANCEL RELATIONSHIP!!!  Like you'd ever actually have done that :)
• Drinking Asti on special occasions.
• Practicing with the rings before our wedding.  Good thing we did too with how hard it was to get the ring over your fat knuckles!
• Swimming in the ocean in the rain in Jamaica.
• Finding an Outback Steakhouse on a road trip just so I could have my favorite dessert.
• Marshmallow peeps, Wendy's frosties, and pina coladas.  Mmmmmmmm!
• Thumb wars.  You almost always won.
• The 2-hour lunch.  Pure genius!
• A Few Good Men:  "You?  You, LT Weinberg??"
• "Goodnight, sweet prince!"  Oh baby, how I've love to hear you call me that again...
• You asking my dad for my hand in marriage.  So old-school.  So amazing.
• Your dirty socks after that 5-mile run in MA before Ranger School.
• The Bed Bath & Beyond price scanner for our wedding registry.  You LOVED that thing.
• Killing the roaches in my apartment in Williamsburg - thanks, babe!!!
• Your meticulous monthly routine of verifying credit card purchases with all your receipts.
• Not letting me sing along in the car.
• "Don't pretend like you don't know who this is, silly."
• True Lies:  "Your mind's writing checks your body can't cash!"  "I'm nothing, I'm naval lint!"  "Do it slow, do it sexy."  Love it...
• Your sleepy, nonsensical post-Ranger School talk.
• "That's my wife!"  
• Tidying the dinner table.  Thank God you had your own little forms of OCD to compliment mine!
• Gladiator:  "What we do in life echoes in eternity."  The irony of those words now...
• Duck feet.  Absolutely adorable.
• The slow, sarcastic clap.  Never failed to make me laugh.
• "Babe, why are you squeaking?"  "They're love squeaks!"  "Oh...well, ok then." :)
• Cookout shakes and burgers:  Best road trip food EVER.
• Cold feet - I  know how much you hated them!
• Letting me share the chair with you at the computer.
• Baby noises.  Wish we'd been able to experience that together...
• "At the end of the day, all that matters is that we have each other."  Nothing has changed - you are the love of my life, Jon.  And that is all that matters.  Thank you for the memories.  I wish to God there could be more...