102. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"

"This is the start of our sweet little story, the part where your page meets mine.  No matter where our tale takes us tomorrow, our story will always read love."
~Unknown

I am getting married.  Such beautiful little words, ones I never thought I would be lucky enough to see.  And yet there they are, bringing light to the life I thought had gone dark.  I am the luckiest.  With those simple words, my bubble is again restored to a place of infinite love and joy.  It is a changed place, but it is a better place.  As I embark on this new future, my heart overflows with gratitude and awe for what was and what can still be.  If this last year and a half has taught me anything, it's that it's never too late to cling to that last seemingly pitiful sliver of hope.  It's there for a reason.  Ignore it, and all is truly lost.  Hang on, and what was only a sliver can grow to become a starry universe of possibilities.

In all of our lives, we will each experience a few moments of tremendous clarity.  For me, joining the Army ROTC program after 9/11 was one.  Leaving law school to serve on active duty after Jon died was another.  Hearing a fellow soldier tell me right before we left for Afghanistan that she met her husband on a prior deployment was also one of those moments.  At the time, I didn't know why her words stuck with me, but after I met Pete in Afghanistan, they seemed to hold the promise of a life-changing premonition.  And again, just days before Pete's proposal, I felt that same sense of peaceful clarity.  I couldn't possibly have guessed what he had planned, but as I glanced across at the man I love, it was as though I could see the transition occurring right there before my eyes.  I didn't understand it at the time, and it was just a moment...but it was quite a moment.  In fact, if there's such a thing as a sign, I have to believe that was it, captured instantaneously in a few tiny, remarkable seconds.  And now here we are - embarking on a new journey of adventure and continued self-discovery that will take us a lifetime and a half to complete.  Quite simply, I couldn't be happier.

They say every story has an end, but in life, every end is a new beginning . . .

     Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end . . .

          We cannot start over, but we can begin now and create a new ending. . .

               And just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly . . .

However I choose to say it, it's time to trust in the magic of beginnings.  For too long, I focused only on what might have been, rather than on all that might still be.  Poet Robert Browning once said that the best is yet to be.  A few years ago, I would have told him he was an idiot.  Now, however, I'm more than willing to give credit where credit is due.  Mr. Browning, you are indeed a wise man.   We may never know exactly how long we have here in this world, but if we live every precious moment as though it will be better than the last, no moment will ever be wasted.  Thank you for reminding me that it's never too late for this butterfly to spread her wings and fly.