Wednesday, September 4, 2013

96. The Ultimate Conundrum (Re-blogged from the Millennial Veteran Project)

Note:  The following article was originally published on the Millennial Veteran Project blog, a site that, for various reasons, is no longer operational.  

On August 30, 2013, the Department of Defense announced the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Enduring Freedom.  His name was Staff Sergeant (SSG) Michael H. Ollis, and he was a native of Staten Island, New York.  SSG Ollis died of wounds sustained when insurgents attacked his unit with an improvised explosive device, small arms, and indirect fire.  He was 24 years old.

SSG Ollis’ family will now undergo the heartbreaking process of burying their beloved son, which will undoubtedly be followed by many years of questioning what could have been (and should have been), had things turned out differently.  Yet, the average American citizen is unlikely to know SSG Ollis’ name.  In fact, some Americans are unaware that we’re still at war in Afghanistan.  Nothing could be further from the truth, and yet the latest and greatest Hollywood scandal will undoubtedly get far more news coverage than the most recent American casualty from Operation Enduring Freedom.

Why is that?  Why do we care more about things like the birth of the royal baby than we do about the loss of American lives?  Have we become so emotionally desensitized that unless a record-breaking number of Soldiers die in one catastrophic incident (see, e.g. “Portraits of Lives Lost:  Thirty U.S. troops were killed Aug. 6, 2011, when their Chinook helicopter was shot down in Afghanistan,” available at http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/portraits-of-lives-lost/2011/08/09/gIQAWxmF5I_gallery.html#photo=1), we barely bat an eye and mindlessly continue on about our day?  Do we really need another World War II with its staggering loss of lives to feel anything resembling remorse and sadness these days?  Or will we be content to simply continue to push aside the more difficult and morally problematic issues until, after over twelve years, the war in Afghanistan is officially over?

And will it ever really be over?  For those of us who have already lost more than we could have imagined, the war will continue in some way or another for many years to come.  Combat operations may end, but the questions that continue to haunt us will lurk persistently just below the surface, always threatening to rear their ugly heads at the most inconvenient of times. As a veteran of both Iraq and Afghanistan and the widow of a Soldier who returned home from Iraq in a flag-draped casket, I often struggle with the ultimate conundrum:  Are we simply giving up after twelve hard fought years?  And if so, what does that mean about the sacrifices we have made? Should we just give up and walk away after attempting to eradicate terrorism from that area of the world for more than a decade? 
  
Or should we continue to stick it out until we’ve achieved “mission success?”  And what does that even mean in these asymmetric conflicts against non-state actors?  On the one hand, mission success, however you choose to define it, is the quintessential foundation of my military career; on the other, I intimately understand the finality and loss that comes with death. It’s permanent in a way that nothing else is in this world.  I’ve seen one too many heartbroken families whose lives are forever changed when they are suddenly forced to continue on without the husband, wife, father, mother, son or daughter who made their life worth living.  For those of us who find ourselves facing this unthinkable reality, the question we avoid at all costs and can’t help but come back to over and over again is relatively simple:  why? 

Given this conundrum, you might imagine how I felt when an article was published this summer regarding the contemplated immediate withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan (see “U.S. Considers Faster Pullout in Afghanistan,” available at http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/09/world/asia/frustrated-obama-considers-full-troop-withdrawal-from-afghanistan.html?_r=0).  I looked around with a momentary sense of panic and thought, “Wait! We’re still here, and there is still so much to be done!” However, my next thought, was, “well, actually, maybe withdrawal would be for the best.”

Like many, my feelings are incredibly mixed. Like any trained soldier, I never want to leave a problem unsolved, but I wonder how much more good can come from our continued presence in Afghanistan.  Further complicating my views is the fact that my husband, Jon, was killed in Iraq, and I served there as a Platoon Leader a year later.  In 2011, we officially withdrew from the region, leaving many of the same problems we’d faced during my tour still unresolved.  As I watched the video footage of the last of our vehicles crossing the Iraq border into Kuwait, I was filled with an unsettling feeling of disappointment and relief – disappointment at the fact that we’d abandoned the mission my husband died for, and relief at the fact that it was all finally over.

Barely two years later, much of Iraq has returned to its former chaotic state of violence.  Just recently I read an article that included a photo of the marketplace we patrolled through every day in Mahmudiyah, Iraq - it used to be relatively safe and secure, but had recently been targeted by several suicide bombs and looks to be an absolute catastrophe once again.  (see “Deadly Blasts Rock Southern Iraqi Cities,” available at http://www.aljazeera.com/news/middleeast/2013/06/201361673910345481.html).  It makes me wonder what, if anything, we’ve learned over this past decade, and whether things will be different this time around given the recent rumblings about contemplated military intervention in Syria.  Many political commentators are comparing the current situation to the one we faced years ago in deciding whether to invade Iraq.  I recall all too vividly how it felt as an eighteen-year-old ROTC Cadet to witness the symbolic toppling of Saddam Hussein’s infamous statue on the news – at the time, my friends and I celebrated what we thought was a quick and easy victory.  But that was before the human cost of the decision to invade hit all too close to home, and my present-day feelings are far less celebratory.  This time, my instinct is to shudder when I think about the potential consequences of getting involved in another conflict before we’ve figured out how to “end” the current one.  Perhaps Plato had it right – only the dead have seen the end of war, especially when the war never truly ends.


In 1963, country music singer Skeeter Davis released a song entitled “The End of the World.”  Among many unanswerable questions, Skeeter asked why“Why does my heart go on beating?  Why do these eyes of mine cry?   Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?  It ended when you said goodbye.”  As Americans, we love a good story with a nice, neat, happy ending, but for those of us who never got to say goodbye, the realities of life are messy, and the whys will always remain.  History will undoubtedly offer many explanations for the decisions that were made, but no explanation can justify the loss of what cannot be replaced.  The catastrophic losses we suffered during World War II are often equated with a righteous victory, but for those families directly affected by those losses, there will always be questions like the ones SSG Ollis’ family will ask themselves in the days and years ahead:  Why my son?  Why my husband?  Why my father?  Although times may have changed, the answer is still the same:  there is no answer.  There never is. 

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