It’s odd, isn’t it? People die every day and the world goes on like nothing happened. But when it’s a person you love, you think everyone should stop and take notice. That they ought to cry and light candles and tell you that you’re not alone.”
~Kristina McMorris, Letters From Home
September 11th, 2012: A day that, for many, marks the anniversary of an event that changed their lives forever. Yet, you wouldn't know it at law school...or in many sectors of society, for that matter. Eleven years later, life continues on as normal. I was a senior in high school when the twin towers fell back in 2001, yet some of my youngest classmates were only in the 6th grade. God, that makes me feel old. Not so much the numerical age difference itself, but rather, the vast expanse of living that separates us. September 11th, 2001 was not a day on which I came to some sort of eye-opening personal revelation, yet I still remember with vivid clarity standing alone on the deck of my parents' house and thinking about all the lives that had been lost and those left behind that would never be the same. Eleven years later, I still think about that. I had no idea on that day how the subsequent War on Terror would affect me personally; I hadn't even applied to colleges yet, much less decided on Johns Hopkins and, with it, the Army ROTC program. Hence, I hadn't yet met Jon.
Jon...oh, dear Lord, how I wish he was here with me today. Today, on the anniversary of such a somber tragedy, I could really use his words of wisdom and the calming way his outlook on life always made everything seem okay. His classmates have described to me how it felt on September 11th, 2001 to be a college student and ROTC Cadet preparing to commission into the United States Army with the prospect of war looming on the near horizon. I can only imagine how heavily the magnitude of that responsibility weighed on their shoulders. It was not until about eighteen months later, once I too had committed to the ROTC track, that the war in Iraq finally kicked off. I still had absolutely no concept at that point of how deeply the significance of that day would later resonate with me many years later on this day. I could not have imagined that just over four years after the invasion, Jon would live out his last days in Iraq. And I certainly could never have predicted that on September 12th, 2008 - seven years and one day after 9/11/01 - I too would deploy to the same place that claimed my husband's life.
An article that mentions the 9/11 Heroes 5k race I ran this past weekend in Jon's memory was published in the Columbus Dispatch today, and it features a picture of me rounding the final corner to the finish line. I'm wearing the t-shirt with Jon's picture on the front and the Gold Star on the back that I created for the Army Ten-Miler Race back in 2009. One lady wrote a comment in response to the article that essentially said she's glad to see Ohio paying "quiet" tribute to 9/11 this year since "we are becoming a nation that absolutely bathes in grief, and this needs to be stopped." I almost laughed out loud when I read this. Okay, I thought, this is clearly someone who hasn't been personally affected in any way by the events of that day or the two wars that have followed! The response I offered was, I hope, not overly scathing, but I did my best to emphasize the fact that there's a very good reason the phrase most often associated with 9/11 is "never forget."
http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/09/11/we-still-look-for-best-way-to-mark-sept--11.html
For me, the best part of the race was having the opportunity to meet and speak to an incredibly nice man named John Carney, who was running in memory of his brother. He came up to me before the race, shook my hand, and gave me a big hug to thank me for my husband's sacrifice. After the race was over, he approached me again. This time, he gave me a dog tag that had been made for him by a friend to pass along to another Gold Star family. He'd carried that dog tag with him for the last five years since the day his brother was killed in Afghanistan. He said he knew he was supposed to pass it on sooner but couldn't bring himself to do it until that moment. John's hands shook as he spoke, and his eyes filled with tears as he asked me if I still talked to Jon as though he's still here. My answer, of course, was yes, I do - every day. More than anything, John seemed relieved to have the opportunity to talk to someone else who "gets it" and who was happy to listen to stories of his brother and laugh at the memories of the good times they shared. I was touched beyond words to receive the dog tag and will carry it with me proudly until it's time to pass it along to another family. May God bless John's fallen brother, SFC Scott Carney. And God bless the organizers of events like the 9/11 Heroes 5k Run - these wonderful people continue to recognize and commemorate the high price of freedom, lest me forget. I, for one, will never forget.
On January 17th, 2000, well before the travesties of 9/11/01, my husband wrote a letter to the Professor of Military Science at the Johns Hopkins ROTC Department describing his desire to serve as an officer in the United States Army. He ended the letter with a quote by Henry Hyde in a speech before the House of Representatives during the impeachment of President Bill Clinton:
"Let us look across the river, to Arlington National Cemetery, where American heroes who gave their lives for the sake of the rule of law lied buried. And let us not betray their memory...It's our country - the President is our flag bearer, out in front of our people. The flag is falling, my friends - I ask you to catch the falling flag as we keep our appointment with history."
For obvious reasons, that quote strikes me as incredibly ironic now. On this day, as we commemorate the lives that were lost on that terrible day eleven years ago, let us remember the patriotism that brought us together back then and let us keep our appointment with history in ensuring that their sacrifice is never forgotten. My prayers are with the families of all those who were lost and those who have since answered the call to defend our great country. As I sat outside on my porch tonight - wearing my husband's sweater, a pair of his boxer shorts, and a t-shirt from this weekend's race that reads "If not me, then who?" - I thought about this day in history. Eleven years ago now seems like a different lifetime. So much has happened. So little has changed on the one hand, and yet, on the other, everything has changed. Lives have been lost, new lives have come into being, and the world has kept on turning. For some of us, however, the world of today turns with a bit of a limp. We will never forget. Ever. And whether it be today, tomorrow, or eleven more years from now, this world will forever be defined by those who are no longer in it.
Jon...oh, dear Lord, how I wish he was here with me today. Today, on the anniversary of such a somber tragedy, I could really use his words of wisdom and the calming way his outlook on life always made everything seem okay. His classmates have described to me how it felt on September 11th, 2001 to be a college student and ROTC Cadet preparing to commission into the United States Army with the prospect of war looming on the near horizon. I can only imagine how heavily the magnitude of that responsibility weighed on their shoulders. It was not until about eighteen months later, once I too had committed to the ROTC track, that the war in Iraq finally kicked off. I still had absolutely no concept at that point of how deeply the significance of that day would later resonate with me many years later on this day. I could not have imagined that just over four years after the invasion, Jon would live out his last days in Iraq. And I certainly could never have predicted that on September 12th, 2008 - seven years and one day after 9/11/01 - I too would deploy to the same place that claimed my husband's life.
An article that mentions the 9/11 Heroes 5k race I ran this past weekend in Jon's memory was published in the Columbus Dispatch today, and it features a picture of me rounding the final corner to the finish line. I'm wearing the t-shirt with Jon's picture on the front and the Gold Star on the back that I created for the Army Ten-Miler Race back in 2009. One lady wrote a comment in response to the article that essentially said she's glad to see Ohio paying "quiet" tribute to 9/11 this year since "we are becoming a nation that absolutely bathes in grief, and this needs to be stopped." I almost laughed out loud when I read this. Okay, I thought, this is clearly someone who hasn't been personally affected in any way by the events of that day or the two wars that have followed! The response I offered was, I hope, not overly scathing, but I did my best to emphasize the fact that there's a very good reason the phrase most often associated with 9/11 is "never forget."
http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/09/11/we-still-look-for-best-way-to-mark-sept--11.html
For me, the best part of the race was having the opportunity to meet and speak to an incredibly nice man named John Carney, who was running in memory of his brother. He came up to me before the race, shook my hand, and gave me a big hug to thank me for my husband's sacrifice. After the race was over, he approached me again. This time, he gave me a dog tag that had been made for him by a friend to pass along to another Gold Star family. He'd carried that dog tag with him for the last five years since the day his brother was killed in Afghanistan. He said he knew he was supposed to pass it on sooner but couldn't bring himself to do it until that moment. John's hands shook as he spoke, and his eyes filled with tears as he asked me if I still talked to Jon as though he's still here. My answer, of course, was yes, I do - every day. More than anything, John seemed relieved to have the opportunity to talk to someone else who "gets it" and who was happy to listen to stories of his brother and laugh at the memories of the good times they shared. I was touched beyond words to receive the dog tag and will carry it with me proudly until it's time to pass it along to another family. May God bless John's fallen brother, SFC Scott Carney. And God bless the organizers of events like the 9/11 Heroes 5k Run - these wonderful people continue to recognize and commemorate the high price of freedom, lest me forget. I, for one, will never forget.
 |
| The front and back sides of the dog tag John Carney gave to me after the 9/11 Heroes Run |
"Let us look across the river, to Arlington National Cemetery, where American heroes who gave their lives for the sake of the rule of law lied buried. And let us not betray their memory...It's our country - the President is our flag bearer, out in front of our people. The flag is falling, my friends - I ask you to catch the falling flag as we keep our appointment with history."
For obvious reasons, that quote strikes me as incredibly ironic now. On this day, as we commemorate the lives that were lost on that terrible day eleven years ago, let us remember the patriotism that brought us together back then and let us keep our appointment with history in ensuring that their sacrifice is never forgotten. My prayers are with the families of all those who were lost and those who have since answered the call to defend our great country. As I sat outside on my porch tonight - wearing my husband's sweater, a pair of his boxer shorts, and a t-shirt from this weekend's race that reads "If not me, then who?" - I thought about this day in history. Eleven years ago now seems like a different lifetime. So much has happened. So little has changed on the one hand, and yet, on the other, everything has changed. Lives have been lost, new lives have come into being, and the world has kept on turning. For some of us, however, the world of today turns with a bit of a limp. We will never forget. Ever. And whether it be today, tomorrow, or eleven more years from now, this world will forever be defined by those who are no longer in it.
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